I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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