yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
