hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize