Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
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