You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
