'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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