Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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