last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
