My nipple is on Facebook.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
