The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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