can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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