i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize