Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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