Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
