did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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