If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
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I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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