Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
