her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
