Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
