sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
