He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
