i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
