But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
