I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
