Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
