I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
