Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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