Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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