I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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