whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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