Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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