sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
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I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
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I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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