Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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