Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize