cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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