Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
