We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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