I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
