I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize