At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
