i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
