I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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