My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dignity is for republicans.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
a search helicopter?!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
