drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
