PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
