You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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