he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
