Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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