Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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