I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
