Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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