I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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