you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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