Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
