I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
