At least make sure they are 18
Why
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
