I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
