every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
