ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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