I think I am morally bankrupt
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
