This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We're using joints as your birthday candles
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
