I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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