Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
