I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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