you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
